For the purpose of content I have decided to post my response to Katie Andersen's earlier post on her 6 dirty, disgusting, top favorites of being a nurse. In particular I am responding to her "not so gross" incident she had with Joshua and the "black bug in mouth" story.
I love every one of those 6 gross stories Katie gave. Talk about taking out the trash. I would rather take a garbage man's job all my life, a sewage specialist, a water treatment technician, and a port o potty inspector over any one of those jobs Katie did and continues to do as a nurse. Now, what gets me is that Katie actually gagged taking a simple bug out of Joshua's mouth, that was far cleaner and more safe than any one of her 6 experiences.
It actually reminds me of the time when I was out in the backyard last summer collecting snails out of the grass and garden for my chickens to eat. They absolutely love a good soft defenceless snail. I had two snails in my hand and Naomi comes out to me interested in what I was doing. I handed her one of the snails to inspect, thinking she would find them interesting. The snail itself was securely crouched in its shell, and so "Mia" didn't really see anything but a hard shell. To my utter surprise she casually popped the whole snail into her mouth and commenced crunching. Michelle was standing by and shouted with an alarm to quickly remove it from her mouth as if it were poison. Although shocked myself I figured she would likely discover the texture and taste to unsatisfactory and spit it out herself, so I waited another 3, 5, 10 seconds... she still did not spit it out. Michelle was panicking and dry heaving in between bursts of “Hurry, [gag] get it out of her mouth! [gag] What are you waiting for?” [gag] I was in awe. I couldn’t believe that Michelle had starved the child to the point of finding genuine delight in the texture and taste of a common garden snail. A large one too! After waiting to see if Naomi was seriously going to eat it, and determining she had no qualms with finishing the snail like a piece of candy, I felt it my duty to try and scoop the rest out of her mouth before she swallowed. Mia vehemently opposed me interfering and taking away her treat. I could only laugh at the spectacle as Michelle scorned me in desperation. Naomi finished the snail entirely. And this is what gets me, she put her hand out for the other one in my hand! I couldn’t contain myself, I couldn’t resist the innocence. I started to give it to her when Michelle angrily protested, so I declined. I decided instead to educate my toddler girl. I waited until the snail in my hand was brave enough to stick its head out and scan its surroundings. When it did I showed it to Naomi and then offered the “snack” to her again. Seeing newly as a living curious looking creature she immediately declined taking the snail and her desire “for another” was abated.
My story pales in comparison to Katie's unearthly disgusting nursing “clean up crew” stories. I have eaten living gold fish, earth worms, candied crickets (Japan), and regularly eat a good fresh raw egg from my backyard hens, but it sounds like Katie is cut from the cloth of a care taker.
Christmas Letter 2019
4 years ago
